Sunday, August 23, 2009

DC Follies


Jon and I are currently in DC, about to hit the road again to head to a Mystery Location in Virgina. The location is only a mystery because we don't know where the crap we're going yet--but here's (at least some of) what happened on Day 1 of the Country Fried Road Trip!

As I left Ralph & Tina's house yesterday afternoon (only two hours later than expected) I went to punch Jon's address in Dover, DE into the Navigational System I borrowed from Bookie. Unfortunately, Dover DE does not exist according to the Garmin Nuvi. Useless. I finally got directions from my Blackberry and was on my way. Thirty minutes later than the two hours late I already was.

After some traffic and nonsense, I finally picked Jon up and the Country Fried Road Trip officially began! Stop 1: Washington DC! Of course, the Nav system once again refused to lead us to DC (It wasn't even an option when we listed all possible "Washington" destinations. Seriously, Garmin--It's 2009: Get your shit together.)

Anyway, we made our way into DC amid massive thunderstorms and torrential rains. We seriously almost got struck my lightning. (And by that, I mean we saw some lightning.)

Normally, I like a good thunderstorm, but Jon had booked us into a Segway Tour of DC at the behest of PapaRu (via Uncle Carl) and we weren't sure if being on giant electric people-movers would be a wise choice in the middle of one. Luckily, by the time we checked into the hotel and got to the tour office, the lightning had subsided. The rain, however, did not.

But the tour was going on, come hell or high water. Or both.

Segways--We're Better Than Nature™!
And so, after we put on our helmets...


...we went outside into the pouring rain, where Jon donned the jacket he was smart enough to bring...

...and I was forced to buy...

...a one dollar poncho which, according to some, makes me look like a human condom. Gah.

Our tour group consisted of myself, Jon and six Italian nationals who barely spoke any English. Our guide, Emma, trained us on the Segways which, at first, were kind of terrifying.

But after a while, we discovered they weren't so bad. Emma was a great teacher and a great tour guide! She took us to all the great Washington DC sites. Of course, taking photos while balancing on a Segway proved a little difficult...

This photo was supposed to have Jon and the Capitol Building in it. Not just the building and Jon's helmet and forehead.

This is either the Washington Monument or a giant cardboard paper towel tube.

A blob of Jeff

Hey! He's in focus! Jeff is clearly a pro now!

Luckily, Emma is as good a photographer as she is a teacher, and she offered to take some respectable pictures of your Country Fried Road Trippers:

White House & Nerdy.

While DC is rich in history and Emma did a great job explaining the stories behind everything we saw. The main thing I learned: Walking is for suckers. I need a Segway...

...but I could probably do without the poncho.

1 comment:

  1. Ok all the awesome things of EPICNESS about this blog need to be quantified

    1 Jeff...One of my favourite human beings on the planet

    2 Segways... because walking is just so not 21st century

    3 Thunder and Lightning...because it sets the scene for drama of Shakespearean proportions

    4 Rain, because I didn't believe that it could rain in the USA and it makes me feel better about being in England (I am lying here, or clutching at straws or something)

    5 More opinionated pissweasel of a Garmin who cant make her own way out of the glovebox and yet blithely orders you to drive 15 miles out of your way just because she wants you to

    6 Emma who has no face and is made, largely of blue plastic

    7 Jeff always ALWAYS protecting his corpus collossum etc with a helmet (very cute)

    8 The fact Jeff didn't bring a coat and had to look like an accident in a packaging factory

    9 Again with the Segways.. The very concept of a segway tour.. AND in rain, delights me to the core

    10 the lameness of most of the photography = a whole lot of laughs

    Thanks guys... you cheered my evening no end!:)