I'm about to hop in the car to drive to Dover, DE to pick up Jon and soon, the Country Fried Road Trip will officially begin serving up comedy Hot-n-Fresh from America to your Computer™. Or something.
I spent a couple of days in Philly with family and friends--although due to the last-minuteness of this trip (and the fact that I was only in town for approximately 62 hours) I did not get to see everyone I needed to see--or see nearly enough of those I did hang out with, like my college friends:
The years have not been kind.Of course, it's nice to know that after 15 years, we're all just as mature as we were the day we met.
Quinn and his little friend.
Jeff tries to shout Stacey's baby out. She was due days ago.Strangely, this method did not induce labor.
Even with my limited time, it was great to see everyone!
Idiots on the top row: Anne, me, Eric, Kev, XavierIdiots on the bottom row: Quinn, Stacey, Dave
As usual, while home I've been staying with my crazy parents Ralph & Tina. It's amazing how after 33 years, I'm still learning things about them.
As my dad was driving me to pick up the rental car, for some reason, the topic of jail came up. You see, a few summers ago, my sister D0nna announced to me that our father had actually spent a night in jail once. The details were hazy, but alcohol was involved, and I'm pretty sure it occurred back when the world was in black and white.
When I first heard this little factoid, I was in total shock. Ralph just isn't the jail-type... a quality I'm glad I inherited from him. (We're both too pretty to be behind bars.) Since then, I've grown accustomed to the idea of my dad as a felon, so I finally started to prod him for details of his criminal past... Clearly, I was asking for trouble.
It seems that Ralph had his run-in with the law a few days before he and my mom got married--48 years ago this week, by the way....
Tina and Ralph on their wedding day, 48 years ago!
The HoneymoonersAnyway, during this "get-together" one of his buddies started hitting on some strange dude's girlfriend. And so the dude punched my dad's friend and a melee broke out. My dad, being the strong, street tough that he was in those days...
...hopped up on the bar to overlook the fray and avoid being trampled (another quality I inherited from him...clearly.)
Of course, the cops roll in and see my dad standing on the bar while all these people beneath him are beating themselves into comas, and they immediately decide that he is the instigator of it all and so they lunge right for him.
My dad and about a dozen of his friends wound up in jail for the night, too drunk to function. During the arrest, they all gave fake names to the cops who, in 1961, didn't give a crap apparently. They gave names like Charlie McCarthy and Donald Duck. My dad? Well, he was Minnie Mouse. Ofcoursehewas. "Somebody else was Mickey Mouse," he whined as he explained his choice.
Minnie complained that being drunk in jail is not nearly as fun as it sounds. They didn't feed him, he was getting married soon... and he was crowded into a cell with all the other drunks and even some everyday crooks: Some of whom were singing, some of whom were yelling, and one of whom was banging loudly on the bars. This last thing, coupled with the hangover that was brewing inside of my dad's mouse ears, made him the most miserable.
After what seemed like days, my dad managed to pass out. When morning came, he was awakened by a cop who was shouting "RISE AND SHINE, MORNING TIME! LOOK AND SEE: YOU MIGHT HAVE THE KEY!" This is how the cop woke up the inmates every day.
Coincidentally, when I was growing up, this is also how my father used to wake me and my siblings up. Every morning. For as long as I can remember.
As a child, I never questioned it. It never even occurred to me to do so. I just kinda thought it was one of those things, like "Rock-a-bye baby" or "shut the hell up" that parents just say to their kids all the time.
I had no idea that my dad got this particular phrase FROM HIS NIGHT IN JAIL.
Sensing my utter discomfort, my dad was sure to wake me up with that phrase this morning... while dangling the rental car keys in front of me for added noisy hilarity. And for this, he earned his second sentence... this time, in ComedyJail™
Since my childhood had been rattled to the core, I asked my mom if she had ever been to jail. I figured I was ready to know if this was also something that happened somehow. Tina's response: "Yeah, I've been in jail for 48 years."
Happy Anniversary, mom and dad. You'll both be spending it in ComedyJail.
I'm looking forward to seeing the Ruanes. Mainly because they aren't felons.
Jon, here I come!
Your college days picture shouldn't have Dec 2005 written on it surely?
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