Tuesday, August 25, 2009

When Precious Memories Attack

On last year's road trip (a.k.a.: "East Infection 2008"), Jeff and his family opened up their vacation house in Wildwood, New Jersey to me. And I repaid them by taking photos of all of the darling ceramic figurines located around the house...from inside a cofee can.

I'd been to many a store that is filled to the brim with those types of ceramics, but always wondered if they would ever find a home or if they would just be taken away to precious memory heaven after some clumsy child accidentally smashed them to bits on the storeroom floor. It was only last year that I discovered that the Nucera residence is a perfect home for them. In fact, during Jeff's recent stay in Philly (pre-Country Fried Road Trip), he discovered the latest addition to his mother's precious memory collection:

Simply terrifying, right?

Well, as it turns out, there are much much much scarier "precious memories" out there. And practically all of them can be purchased at the "American Celebration On Parade" gift shop.


There was this clock that counts down when it's time for the parade floats to come alive and eat people...


There were a bunch of half-dead cats that seem to be "presenting themselves...


But the most horrifying things in the store were a series of baby dolls dressed as a variety of different animals and insects...


These two will sting you to death...


Then, these "peacocks" will peck your eyes out...

This skunk will give you the "stink eye"...


While the sheep and the pigs lull you into compliance with their cuteness...


Once you have been stung, stunk, pecked, lulled, and eaten, these fairies will come along to pull out all of your teeth...



...while these dollies look on and laugh in utter delight.


Finally, this doll feasts on your soul...


Needless to say, Jeff and I are very lucky to have escaped from that place in one piece.

I will admit that there was one particular item that wasn't that scary...


...but I decided that the sign didn't quite match the display.


There. That's much better.

1 comment:

  1. OMG!!What a bunch of ugly stuff! Jeff please never take your mother to that gift shop LOL!!
    This last photo is a little disturbing, take that Fairies and Unicorns sign away from him, hes enjoying it much too much.
    TBH I doubt I would have found these things appealing even when I was little, as I was more reknown for shaving my dolls heads,putting them on trial (on trumped-up charges) and sending them to the gallows. I didn't dare tell Jeff that when I was little it was my ambition to be Wednesday Addams...
    Looking at these pictures makes me want to make only one purchase...
    ...a flamethrower