Hey!
Jon and I are currently in DC, about to hit the road again to head to a Mystery Location in Virgina. The location is only a mystery because we don't know where the crap we're going yet--but here's (at least some of) what happened on Day 1 of the Country Fried Road Trip!
As I left Ralph & Tina's house yesterday afternoon (only two hours later than expected) I went to punch Jon's address in Dover, DE into the Navigational System I borrowed from Bookie. Unfortunately, Dover DE does not exist according to the Garmin Nuvi. Useless. I finally got directions from my Blackberry and was on my way. Thirty minutes later than the two hours late I already was.
After some traffic and nonsense, I finally picked Jon up and the Country Fried Road Trip officially began! Stop 1: Washington DC! Of course, the Nav system once again refused to lead us to DC (It wasn't even an option when we listed all possible "Washington" destinations. Seriously, Garmin--It's 2009: Get your shit together.)
Anyway, we made our way into DC amid massive thunderstorms and torrential rains. We seriously almost got struck my lightning.
(And by that, I mean we saw some lightning.)
Normally, I like a good thunderstorm, but Jon had booked us into a Segway Tour of DC at the behest of PapaRu (via Uncle Carl) and we weren't sure if being on giant electric people-movers would be a wise choice in the middle of one. Luckily, by the time we checked into the hotel and got to the tour office, the lightning had subsided. The rain, however, did not.
But the tour was going on, come hell or high water. Or both.
Segways--We're Better Than Nature™!
And so, after we put on our helmets...
"Ho...GAN!!!!!"...we went outside into the pouring rain, where Jon donned the jacket he was smart enough to bring...
...and I was forced to buy...
...a one dollar poncho which, according to some, makes me look like a human condom. Gah.
Our tour group consisted of myself, Jon and six Italian nationals who barely spoke any English. Our guide, Emma, trained us on the Segways which, at first, were kind of terrifying.
But after a while, we discovered they weren't so bad. Emma was a great teacher and a great tour guide! She took us to all the great Washington DC sites. Of course, taking photos while balancing on a Segway proved a little difficult...
This photo was supposed to have Jon and the Capitol Building in it. Not just the building and Jon's helmet and forehead.
This is either the Washington Monument or a giant cardboard paper towel tube.
A blob of Jeff
Hey! He's in focus! Jeff is clearly a pro now!
Luckily, Emma is as good a photographer as she is a teacher, and she offered to take some respectable pictures of your Country Fried Road Trippers:
White House & Nerdy.While DC is rich in history and Emma did a great job explaining the stories behind everything we saw. The main thing I learned: Walking is for suckers. I need a Segway...
...but I could probably do without the poncho.
Jon and the pink awning that attracted him to this hotel in the first place.
This chair outside the hotel was regular-sized; I was just very tiny at that moment.
The constantly-changing light-up tic-tac-toe board in the lobby. I'm not sure why no one was playing.
The stunning carpet that lines the hallways. I'm not sure why no one was throwing up.
The leopard-print robes and undergarments in our hotel room closet. I'm not sure why no one was wearing these.
The surfer on our wall.
The Austin-Powers inspired curtain.
The Mini-Bar--featuring Pez!
The weird bulbous mirror--featuring idiots!
The bright red lampshade!
Goodbye, Hotel Helix!
